When gambling is a problem, the gambler may lie to their family and friends about the extent of their gambling or the amount of money they have lost. Discovering that money for household expenses is gone or that the family home is at risk is a terrible shock for the non-gambling partner.

As a person without a problem, it is often difficult to understand why the person with the gambling problem doesn't just stop. It is important that you remember that you cannot control their behaviour and you are not to blame.

It is useful to focus away from their behaviour brought about by the gambling problem and deal with your own feelings. This can help you see the gambler as someone in crisis and out of control.

This will allow you to be supportive and understand your feelings and not apply pressure about their behaviour. While it is important that you support them in their struggle, you should not take the burden on yourself.

Saying things like "I can't do this for you, but I will be with you while you do it" can be helpful in these circumstances.

Remember that there is a local, free and confidential Gambling Help Service available to assist you through this difficult time.  An experienced, understanding and non-judgemental Gambling Help Counsellor can provide you with information and support to ease the stress and improve coping. They can also provide referrals to financial and legal services as needed.

Even if the gambler is unwilling to admit that they have a problem, it is recommended that family members and friends still seek help on their own.  Finding out about available options and strategies to deal with the person who has the gambling problem can greatly assist in managing the situation positivley.